I'm constantly being reminded of how much i'm growing up, through the constant changes going on in my life. I live away from home now for university. So when i go home, seeing changes happening to my hometown makes me feel so much more distant, and seeing my siblings grow up faster than I want them to. A couple of months ago, I didn't go home for about a month and a half, and when I finally found time to visit home, I was shocked at how old my dad looked and it broke my heart, seeing my parents grow old is not something I'm looking forward to.
The one thing that's hitting home the hardest, is losing my family pets. My cat and my dog are the two things that have been in my life constantly, in addition to my family, for as long as i can remember. Friends have come and gone as i've moved through different stages of my life, but they've always been there.
My cat died last year, last April and I can't believe its been an entire year. There's still a hole missing and no pet will ever fill that hole. Felix was mine, nobody else in my family was attached to him the way I was, and I'll always miss him. The sad thing was, he should still be here today. He was hit by a car and the vets felt he was too old for surgery. I was in university at the time and found out when I came home for Easter break a few weeks later, when he had already been cremated. Seeing the box was one of the most heartbreaking things to happen to me to date. Well that, and going to sleep that night and not having him on the end of my bed like he normally would be. I used to annoy everyone with the constant photo updates of him, but now I'm grateful for every photograph i took.
As well as this, my dog, a 10 year old King Charles Spaniel, has started to have fits. It's so hard to see a dog that you're used to seeing gallop around and being extremely hyper and happy suddenly struggle to even walk up the stairs. I remember when I used to take her on walks a couple of years ago and I'd let her off her leash as we reached our street and race her back to my house, she'd beat me by a mile. Now she can just about keep up when i'm walking. But she's still with us for now, and I'm grateful for every second. It's not that I'm waiting for her to go, but I just feel like it could be any time soon, she just doesn't seem herself.
I think the day my dog dies, will be the day that my childhood will have officially ended and I hope that's a long way away. Not seeing her trot to the door when I come home will be horrible. I really couldn't bare to loose her just yet.
